The Villain Within

Dealing With The Villain Within 

Generally, people are born with a positive outlook on life. They are born optimistic and hopeful that things will work out. They usually believe their parents are superheroes and can get everything done for them. That's a good thing. However, as the days go by, things happen which corrupts their positivity. Some accidents or harmful events occur, which create a thread of negative reactions, and which tend to affect them for the rest of their lives, if not controlled. I have cause to believe that aside people's natural traits, events which occur in their young age affects their mindset and psychological make up than any other factors. When they are unable to let go of these dangerous thought patterns, they become a worm that eat up good things from their minds and leave them with a negative perspective about life. 

Think about a lady who was raped in her childhood. She'll probably grow up with the mentality that men are evil and opportunistic. Then again, a child who grows up seeing his mother being used as a punching bag repeatedly is most likely to have a corrupted mindset from childhood. Also, the case of children who grow up in very difficult situations, such as on the streets, with no love being showed them. These children are beaten by the rain, they beg to eat, they sometimes get beaten up when they steal food out of starvation. I have observed such children grow up with no love in their hearts. They do drugs and live below the moral standards set by society. Some become thieves, armed robbers or even terrorists. Not disputing the fact that some grow up to become good people and often go back to help people with backgrounds identical to theirs.

There's a fable of an old woman who told her grandson a story of two wolves: a good wolf and a bad one. According to her, the bad wolf has all these bad characteristics, jealousy, envy, pessimism, among others. This wolf believed that the world is evil and people are cold. Guess what, nothing good happens for this wolf. There is a second wolf which sees the bright side of life. It has love, compassion and believes it can achieve anything it sets its heart to. This wolf experiences nothing but good. The old woman, in response to her grandson's question said that the wolf you feed is the one that wins. This brings me to how the villain got there in the first place.

In my piece on "self", I mentioned how it was important to identify and deal with the villain who serves as an opposition force to actualizing your dreams and aspirations. Many a time, we are our own villains. The villain is a part of us. But how did it get there in the first place? 

The villain grows. With time, the negative thoughts and events, the pain, the hurt grows into bitterness and resentment which corrupt people. The villain can also take any form. Take a moment, think of anything inside you, something you're not proud of, you most likely don't know how it got in there, but it eats you up, it holds you back. It could be a lack of confidence, it could be bitterness, low self image, it could be a bad habit you picked up over the years, it could be a feeling of purposelessness, it could be a bad advice, or anything else. No matter the nature, it does the same thing, it buries your real potentials, limits you and destroys you. 

However, the extent of the harm it can cause you depends on how you treat it. Which of the wolves are you feeding? Are you rehearsing the tragic event in your head, are you paying attention to your weaknesses instead of your strengths, are you looking down on your self? How are you feeding this villain?

Getting rid of this villain is as important as knowing the villain and how it works, knowing what it feeds on. In a popular Chinese series called Heroes(2020), the main character, Huo Yian Jia said something to the effect of, "one key to victory in battle is knowing your enemy". You have to know what it feeds on. Does it feed on your loneliness, your past failures, your low self confidence, bad advice you have recieved, or some other weakness?

The villain feeds off your past. As you go about your daily routine, bad things happen. Things such as famine, a poor background, past failures, among other things. These events affect the way you see life. With such experiences, you often see life as a tragedy in which things don't work out. That mentality corrupts your mind and your perspective of life. As a result, your attitude is affected and one bad thing happens after another.

The key to killing the villain is starving it. You have to develop some resentment for that evil bustard and be prepared to commit murder. It will eventually kill you anyway, so why not kill it?

Equally as important as knowing your enemy is knowing your strengths. Your strength becomes your advantage over your enemy. In an attempt to attain your full potential, focus on your strengths. The truth is, you can focus so much on your strengths that your weaknesses become immaterial. Try it! That is not to say the weaknesses don't exist, but it is no good to you if you focus on those weaknesses. They make you feel less capable, drown your self image and confidence and literally kill you. So learn this: focus on what you are good at, become exceptional at what you are already good at. Build your confidence. This will even help you to overcome your weakness eventually. So start by focusing on your strengths, not your weakness.

Also, be careful of what you consume. Be positive. Make negative friends uncomfortable around you. Get drowned in positivity so much that negative advice will hardly come to you. This may not be as easy as it sounds, but it is possible. Get help when you need it. This is one thing many people shy away from. But help is inevitable. Humans were not created to be Islands. You can only go so far on your own. You need someone to watch your back, someone to encourage you, someone to criticise you, someone to correct you. People often avoid seeking help because of pride or shyness. None of these are valid reasons to fail or struggle. Allow good people in your life. It's worth it.

Life is full of ups and downs. At times, things go well and we are full of happiness. At times, things go sideways, and we fall in a ditch. But the things you go through do not really matter. What matters is your ability to walk out of that situation and move on. So stay positive. Don't give up fighting, don't stop taking risks. Every day is full of making decisions, and each decision comes with a risk. But it's worth the effort, it's worth the try. The future is bigger than the current difficulties, the more reason to keep moving forward. In the words of Winston Churchill, he said “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

 

I would like to know your thoughs on this subject. Share your experience, let me know if this helps you and do not hesitate to contact me for more discussion on the subject or for assistance. Thank you.

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